More Seasonal Jokes
- I bought Valentine's chocolates for the family this year. They were gone within the hour, and none of them were eaten by me.
- Every December I promise myself I'll shop early. Every December I'm in a parking lot on the 23rd, arguing with a cart.
- Every Easter the kids find eggs I hid so well I forget where half of them are. We're still finding one from three years ago.
- The neighborhood's annual chili cook-off gets more competitive every year. Someone brought a fire extinguisher this time. To eat with, apparently.
- The neighborhood Fourth of July parade is really just twelve kids on bikes and one very committed guy on stilts.
- The pumpkin patch photo op turned into a forty-minute standoff between two toddlers over one specific medium-sized pumpkin.