More Seasonal Jokes
- I bought a real tree for Christmas this year. My allergies filed a formal complaint by day two.
- I tried to teach the kids how fireworks work this Fourth of July. Mostly they learned how loudly I can yell 'get back.'
- I asked my kids to help decorate cookies for the holidays. We now have twelve cookies that look like abstract crime scenes.
- I carved my pumpkin a week early this year. By Halloween it had achieved full sentience and mild decay.
- I tried to make my Halloween costume scarier by adding more fake blood. My dry cleaner disagrees with my creative choices.
- I bought matching pajamas for the whole family this Christmas. Getting everyone to actually wear them was the real holiday miracle.