More Family Jokes
- I told my wife I've started meditating. She asked if that meant I'd finally stop talking during movies. It did not.
- My son asked if I was proud of him. I told him I've been proud of him since before he could talk back to me about it.
- I told my wife I'd start budgeting more carefully. My budgeting app now sends me passive-aggressive notifications.
- My daughter told me my jokes are an acquired taste. I told her she's had eight years to acquire it.
- I told my wife I could survive a zombie apocalypse. She said I can't survive a Monday without coffee, so let's manage expectations.
- My son asked why grown-ups say 'because I said so.' I told him it's the shortest sentence with the least amount of follow-up questions.