More Family Jokes
- My daughter told me I embarrass her in public. I told her that's not a bug, it's a lifelong feature.
- I asked my kids to clean their rooms as a team. Now I have two rooms and one enormous pile in the hallway.
- I told my wife I was going to stop procrastinating. I'm starting tomorrow.
- My son asked if I was strong when I was young. I said I once carried the whole family's expectations, so yes.
- I told my wife I'd read the whole instruction manual before assembling the crib. That was a complete lie, and she knew it.
- My kids asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said silence. They gave me a card that says 'Happy Birthday' in complete silence.