More Family Jokes
- My kids asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said silence. They gave me a card that says 'Happy Birthday' in complete silence.
- My daughter asked if I was a wizard because I can find lost socks. I told her it's the one magic power dads get.
- I told my wife I'd fix the leaky faucet. That was two months ago. The faucet and I have reached an understanding.
- My kids asked why I hum while I do chores. I told them it's the only way I can afford therapy right now.
- I told my wife I was going to start eating healthier. She said the salad bar at the gas station doesn't count.
- My son wants to be just like me when he grows up. I haven't had the heart to talk him out of it yet.