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More Family Jokes

  • I told my wife I was going to start eating healthier. She said the salad bar at the gas station doesn't count.
  • My son wants to be just like me when he grows up. I haven't had the heart to talk him out of it yet.
  • My daughter said my jokes were 'so bad they're good.' I've decided to only hear the second half of that sentence.
  • I told my wife I could quit complaining any time I wanted. She said prove it, so now I'm complaining about that too.
  • My kids asked if I was cool in high school. I told them I peaked at being tolerated, and I've held steady ever since.
  • I told my wife I do all my best thinking in the shower. She said that explains a lot about the water bill.

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