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More Workplace Jokes

  • I asked my manager if we could work a four-day week. He said we could discuss it in our next four meetings.
  • My out-of-office reply is more honest than most of my meeting notes.
  • The company gave everyone a mug that says 'Great Job Team!' Morale remains the same, but hydration is up.
  • My performance metrics are trending upward, which is corporate for 'someone finally noticed I exist.'
  • I asked for a standing desk to improve my posture. Mostly I just stand there, slouching in a new location.
  • My job has unlimited vacation days. I've taken exactly zero, on principle, out of fear.

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