More Workplace Jokes
- My performance metrics are trending upward, which is corporate for 'someone finally noticed I exist.'
- I asked for a standing desk to improve my posture. Mostly I just stand there, slouching in a new location.
- My job has unlimited vacation days. I've taken exactly zero, on principle, out of fear.
- The company installed a new time-tracking system. Somehow it tracks everything except how much time we spend discussing the new system.
- The parking garage at work charges by the hour. My car has become the most expensive part of my job.
- I set my status to 'busy' on the work chat. It's been busy for three years now.