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More Family Jokes

  • I told my wife I'd handle bath time tonight. Forty-five minutes and one flooded bathroom later, I understand why she usually says no.
  • I told my daughter dreams do come true. She asked when hers about a pony would happen, and I quietly changed the subject.
  • My smart speaker keeps adding random items to my shopping list. Apparently we now need seventeen pounds of birdseed.
  • I told my son bedtime is bedtime, no exceptions. He negotiated me down to 'one more chapter' within thirty seconds flat.
  • I told my barber to surprise me. He said the surprise is I still tip him after what he does to my hairline.
  • My daughter asked why I whisper the answer during her homework instead of just telling her. I told her that's called guided learning, technically.

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