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  • My wife told me our marriage counselor said we communicate well. I asked when that appointment was, since I don't remember going.
  • I told my wife I'd never keep score in our relationship. She reminded me I still bring up a vacation disagreement from 2019.
  • My wife asked what I'd wish for if I had one wish left. I said a working dishwasher, and she said that was the most honest thing I've ever told her.
  • My wife asked if I'd noticed she rearranged the furniture. I said yes, immediately, while walking directly into the new coffee table.
  • I told my wife I could read her mind. She thought about something, and I guessed wrong three times before giving up entirely.
  • My wife said she wants more quality time together. I suggested watching her favorite show, and now I know far too much about reality television.

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