More Family Jokes
- The cat's nightly zoomies happen at exactly the moment everyone's finally settled down to sleep, every single night.
- The kids' 'we're playing nicely' announcement is, statistically, the most reliable predictor of an imminent argument.
- The kids' pillow talk before bed somehow always includes one deeply philosophical question I'm unprepared to answer.
- The kids' 'that's not fair' complaint has never once been followed by a specific, actionable explanation of why.
- The kids' invented language for talking about me in front of me has gotten disturbingly sophisticated lately.
- The kids' 'I need this for school' claim requires immediate skepticism and, historically, has often been unfounded.