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More Family Jokes

  • The dog has learned that sitting directly on my feet counts as affection, regardless of how inconvenient the timing.
  • The kids' 'we're sharing the good crayons' has an observed compliance rate hovering somewhere near zero percent.
  • The kids' invented obstacle course through the yard now includes a mandatory cartwheel that only one of them can actually do.
  • The kids' 'we're just talking' at 11pm through the wall has never once been an accurate description of the volume.
  • The kids' shared responsibility for setting the table results in exactly one fork short, every single time, mysteriously.
  • The kids' 'we're doing homework' from behind a closed door turned out to involve significantly more giggling than math.

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