More Family Jokes
- The dog has three distinct barks: mailman, squirrel, and 'I heard a sound I didn't like.'
- The kids' idea of 'helping cook' mostly involves tasting everything before it's actually finished.
- The kids' 'we're bored' announcement always comes exactly ten minutes after I finally sit down.
- The kids negotiated screen time using a spreadsheet they built themselves, which was somehow more organized than my own finances.
- There's an unspoken agreement in this house that whoever finds the TV remote first controls the evening.
- The kids' definition of 'quiet time' involves a volume roughly equivalent to a normal indoor conversation.