More Seasonal Jokes
- I tried to make a snowman by myself this year. It came out looking like an abstract art project titled 'Regret.'
- I bought fireworks for the Fourth of July. The neighbors thought I was starting a small, poorly-planned war.
- I told the kids Santa uses a GPS. Now they think reindeer have data plans.
- I tried to give my wife a Valentine's gift that says 'World's Okayest Husband.' She said it was accurate, which hurt more than I expected.
- My Halloween costume budget this year was a bedsheet and my dignity. I regret nothing except my dignity.
- I asked my kids to help carve the turkey this Thanksgiving. We now have a turkey shaped like several smaller turkeys.