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  • I told my wife I was on a roll today. She reminded me I was talking about the bread.
  • I was going to look for my missing watch, but I couldn't find the time.
  • The math teacher called in sick. Turns out she had a lot of problems.
  • A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
  • I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate.
  • I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

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