More Family Jokes
- I asked my daughter to rate my cooking honestly. She gave me a two and said she was rounding up out of love.
- I asked my daughter's teacher how she was doing in school. The teacher said 'creative,' which I've learned is code for something.
- I told my wife I'd handle bath time tonight. Forty-five minutes and one flooded bathroom later, I understand why she usually says no.
- I told my daughter dreams do come true. She asked when hers about a pony would happen, and I quietly changed the subject.
- My smart speaker keeps adding random items to my shopping list. Apparently we now need seventeen pounds of birdseed.
- I told my son bedtime is bedtime, no exceptions. He negotiated me down to 'one more chapter' within thirty seconds flat.