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More Family Jokes

  • My daughter asked why I still check under the bed for monsters. I told her old habits from being a kid myself die hard.
  • I told my wife I've started meditating. She asked if that meant I'd finally stop talking during movies. It did not.
  • My son asked if I was proud of him. I told him I've been proud of him since before he could talk back to me about it.
  • I told my wife I'd start budgeting more carefully. My budgeting app now sends me passive-aggressive notifications.
  • My daughter told me my jokes are an acquired taste. I told her she's had eight years to acquire it.
  • I told my wife I could survive a zombie apocalypse. She said I can't survive a Monday without coffee, so let's manage expectations.

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