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More Family Jokes

  • My son asked why I hum the same three notes every time I fix something. I told him it's my professional soundtrack.
  • I told my wife I'm great under pressure. She reminded me I once panicked over a jammed stapler.
  • My daughter asked me to stop singing along to every song on the radio. I told her that's not how car rides work in this family.
  • I told my wife I was a great multitasker. She watched me try to text and find my keys at the same time and revoked the title.
  • My son asked how tall I was at his age. I told him I was exactly as tall as I needed to be to reach the top shelf, which was a lie.
  • I told my wife I could give up complaining for Lent. It's been the longest forty minutes of my life.

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