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More Family Jokes

  • My daughter graduated preschool this year. The ceremony had more pomp and circumstance than my actual college graduation.
  • The weather forecast said 20% chance of rain. It rained 100% on my exact location and nowhere else on the block.
  • I told my golf coach I wanted to improve my swing. He suggested I first improve my expectations.
  • My son asked why we always eat dinner as a family. I told him it's the one meeting all week I actually want to attend.
  • I set up a lemonade stand with my daughter this summer. We made four dollars and a lifetime of memories, mostly of me handling the cash box.
  • I asked my son to help me install a shelf. Two hours, three trips to the hardware store, and one bent nail later, we called it a partial success.

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