More Seasonal Jokes
- I hung the Christmas stockings a little too close to the fireplace this year. The insurance company was very interested in that decision.
- I tried to set off a single firework as a grand finale. The finale was mostly me apologizing to the neighbors.
- I bought a turkey fryer for Thanksgiving. My neighbors now refer to that week as 'the incident.'
- I tried to make a New Year's toast at midnight. Nobody heard it over the fireworks, which is honestly for the best.
- I tried to trick-or-treat with my kids this year, mostly for the candy. They saw right through my costume as 'concerned parent.'
- I bought a Christmas sweater with real jingle bells sewn in. I've since been asked to leave three separate stores.