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More Workplace Jokes

  • I asked my boss if I could leave early for a family emergency. My family really needed me to not be at work.
  • I asked my manager for a work-life balance. He gave me a stress ball and a longer commute.
  • The office printer jammed again. At this point it has better attendance issues than half the team.
  • I put 'team player' on my resume. What I meant was I've watched a lot of sports alone.
  • My email signature says 'Best regards.' My actual regards are more of a shrug.
  • My out-of-office reply gets more compliments than my actual work. I'm learning something from that, I just don't know what.

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