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More Family Jokes

  • I set an alarm for 6am to go running. I've reset that same alarm every day for six months without leaving the bed once.
  • My daughter asked me to walk slower so she could keep up. I've been walking slower ever since, even when she's not there.
  • My son asked how I always know when he's lying. I told him it's a superpower parents unlock the day their kid takes their first bite of a hidden cookie.
  • I told the dentist I hadn't flossed in a while. He said my gums already told him everything.
  • My daughter asked why dads always know how to fix things. I told her it's mostly YouTube and confidence, in equal measure.
  • I told my son I used to walk uphill both ways to school. He looked up the elevation of our town and called my bluff.

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