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More Family Jokes

  • My daughter's science fair volcano actually erupted at the wrong moment, live, in front of three judges and one very startled parent.
  • I asked my son what two plus two equals. He said fish, then explained that math is boring and fish are not.
  • There's a fine line between a hobby and a mental illness. Mine is fantasy football.
  • Bedtime negotiations in this house last longer than most corporate mergers, and involve significantly more crying.
  • The dinner table debate over whether cereal counts as soup lasted a full twenty minutes and ended with no resolution whatsoever.
  • The dishwasher makes a noise like it's actively plotting against the household. Nobody's investigated. Nobody wants to know.

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