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More Family Jokes

  • My daughter asked why I always pack extra snacks for road trips. I told her hunger is the one variable a good dad always plans for.
  • I told my wife I'm training for a marathon. My training consists mostly of watching marathon documentaries from the couch.
  • My son asked why I always hum while mowing the lawn. I told him it's the only time all week I get to think in peace.
  • I told my wife I'd start meal prepping every Sunday. Sunday has become the day I plan to start meal prepping on Monday instead.
  • My daughter graduated preschool this year. The ceremony had more pomp and circumstance than my actual college graduation.
  • The weather forecast said 20% chance of rain. It rained 100% on my exact location and nowhere else on the block.

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