More Family Jokes
- The kids' 'we're not fighting, we're just talking loudly' has never once, upon investigation, been accurate.
- The kids' pillow fort construction has developed load-bearing standards more rigorous than most actual buildings.
- The dog's bark at the doorbell on the TV is indistinguishable from the bark at the actual front door, every time.
- The kids' 'can we get a pet' campaign has now included a slideshow, a petition, and one very persuasive essay.
- The kids' 'just checking' before opening my phone has never once, historically, been just checking.
- The kids' magic show in the living room featured one actual trick and forty-five minutes of enthusiastic narration.