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More Family Jokes

  • The cat has strong, specific opinions about which chair is hers, and the family has long since stopped arguing about it.
  • The kids' 'we're not fighting, we're just talking loudly' has never once, upon investigation, been accurate.
  • The kids' pillow fort construction has developed load-bearing standards more rigorous than most actual buildings.
  • The dog's bark at the doorbell on the TV is indistinguishable from the bark at the actual front door, every time.
  • The kids' 'can we get a pet' campaign has now included a slideshow, a petition, and one very persuasive essay.
  • The kids' 'just checking' before opening my phone has never once, historically, been just checking.

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