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More Family Jokes

  • I told my barber I wanted a shape-up. He said we'd need more than a haircut for that.
  • My daughter asked why grown-ups say 'we'll see' when they mean no. I told her it's the softest lie a parent knows.
  • I tried yoga for the first time. The instructor called it a 'gentle stretch.' My knees called it a betrayal.
  • My son asked how babies are made. I told him it's a long story and handed him back to his mother.
  • My kids call me the family DJ because I control what music plays in the car. They call it a dictatorship. I call it Tuesdays.
  • My daughter told me I'm not as funny as I think I am. I told her that gap is exactly what keeps me going.

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