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More Family Jokes

  • My son beat me at chess for the first time. I told him he'll remember this day forever, mostly because I brought it up every day since.
  • I told my wife I'd clean the garage this weekend. The garage remains a museum of my broken promises.
  • My kids asked why I still do the voices when I read bedtime stories. I told them retirement isn't in my contract yet.
  • I bought a treadmill last year. It's been an excellent place to hang laundry.
  • My daughter said I'm 'the world's most embarrassing dad' at the school pickup line. I waved harder in response.
  • I told my wife I'd take up a new hobby this year. So far the hobby is thinking about hobbies.

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