More Family Jokes
- My daughter told me I'm not as funny as I think I am. I told her that gap is exactly what keeps me going.
- My son beat me at chess for the first time. I told him he'll remember this day forever, mostly because I brought it up every day since.
- I told my wife I'd clean the garage this weekend. The garage remains a museum of my broken promises.
- My kids asked why I still do the voices when I read bedtime stories. I told them retirement isn't in my contract yet.
- I bought a treadmill last year. It's been an excellent place to hang laundry.
- My daughter said I'm 'the world's most embarrassing dad' at the school pickup line. I waved harder in response.