More Family Jokes
- I bought new curtains for the living room. My wife said they finally match the couch, three years after we bought it.
- I taught my son to whistle this weekend. He hasn't stopped since, and I've started to regret my life choices.
- I got a parking ticket for being one minute over. The meter maid and I now have a rich, complicated history.
- My son asked why I always check the oil in the car myself. I told him it's one of the last mysteries left where I actually know the answer.
- I tried to be a mind reader once. Turns out I'm just extremely good at guessing based on context clues.
- My daughter asked why I always double-check the front door is locked. Two minutes later she asked why I was checking it again.