More Family Jokes
- I bought a set of good knives for the kitchen. My cooking hasn't improved, but the cutting board has taken more damage.
- The dog has learned that sitting directly on my feet counts as affection, regardless of how inconvenient the timing.
- The kids' 'we're sharing the good crayons' has an observed compliance rate hovering somewhere near zero percent.
- The kids' invented obstacle course through the yard now includes a mandatory cartwheel that only one of them can actually do.
- The kids' 'we're just talking' at 11pm through the wall has never once been an accurate description of the volume.
- The kids' shared responsibility for setting the table results in exactly one fork short, every single time, mysteriously.