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More Family Jokes

  • The family vacation photo album is ninety percent pictures of the kids refusing to look at the camera.
  • I signed up to volunteer at the animal shelter. Three hours in, I'd adopted a cat and questioned all my planning.
  • The kids' definition of 'almost ready' bears no relationship to any recognized unit of time.
  • The hardware store clerk asked if I needed help finding anything. I said yes, twenty minutes of my life back.
  • The kids' lemonade stand pricing strategy involved charging more the thirstier you looked.
  • The kids negotiated an extra dessert using logic so convoluted I was almost impressed enough to grant it.

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