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  • My wife asked if I remembered her birthday was coming up. I said of course, then immediately searched the calendar in a panic.
  • I told my wife I'm a catch. She said sure, in the sense that most things I touch eventually break.
  • My wife said I never listen. I would have responded, but I genuinely wasn't listening at the time.
  • I asked my wife what her love language was. She said 'you doing the dishes without being asked,' which felt oddly specific and pointed.
  • My wife told me our marriage counselor said we communicate well. I asked when that appointment was, since I don't remember going.
  • I told my wife I'd never keep score in our relationship. She reminded me I still bring up a vacation disagreement from 2019.

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